At the start of a New Year, we automatically think of fresh starts. After all, there’s an entire year in front of you. But isn’t it funny how some of us obsess so much over making something so big and grand as a year-long resolve plan when we could be instead applying the same energy and enthusiasm to every single day? Think about it. What if you could make the most of today, focusing on the present moment? It’s a heafty thought. Here’s a few suggestions on how to do it, and a few tips on resolution setting that aligns with more realistic expectations with a flexible body and neurodiverse mind.
1. Start With Letting Go
You’re never going to get anywhere if you’re listening to the same old messages or harmful patterns, such as replaying previous dismissals over in your head. Whatever you’re carrying with you, be it past disappointments or failures or even heavier baggage involving old decisions or harmful circumstances, work toward letting it go. This will require a conscious decision be made every day. Letting go means having room for new, better things in your life. Things and experiences that you deserve.
But exactly how can we open to newness and change if only in our minds?
We all know big audacious goals like resolutions are great, but sometimes they make it hard to see what you need to do right now. Today the goal is to focus on what needs doing in the here and now. Start each day with a set idea in mind of where your focus should be right now. Is that calling for the next follow up appointment or getting back into your PT routine? Only you know.
2. Next, Define Your Happiness
Happiness should not be a someday goal but a daily one. What would make you happy today? If you’re not sure, start with exploring your passion to find it. A little time daily in what matters most is sure to bring both a brand-new smile and all the good feelings blossoming from doing what you love and enjoy. This comes from realizing just who you are right now. Ask yourself what does the you of today need most? What benefits you in the here and now most? Or in the words of tennis pro and author Serena Williams, “what serves me best right now in this moment?” Then do what makes sense for you today – and that is enough! Read that again.
3. Set Achievable Targets: What Do You Expect to Happen?
First things first, let’s be honest. If your past resolutions look like an overachievers list of "World's Most Optimistic Goals for People Without Chronic Illness," it might be time to recalibrate. Setting goals when you have EDS means recognizing that some days, success is just getting out of bed (and that’s a win!). This year, let’s aim for goals that respect our limits and celebrate our strengths while we cherish restorative rest and respectful boundaries.
4. Celebrating Small Victories: What’s Working?
Got out of bed before noon? Remembered to take your meds? That’s what we call a standing ovation moment in the EDS community. Celebrating small victories is essential. Why not keep a victory journal? And by journal, I mean, let's scribble those wins on sticky notes and plaster them where we can see them—like a trophy wall but stickier!
5. The Power of Positive Self-Talk: Write it Down
Our minds can be meaner than a jar lid that just won’t open. It’s time to learn how to change the narrative inside your head. Let's swap "I can't believe I didn't get anything done today" with "I gave today everything I could, and I’m proud of it." Write down these positive affirmations and stick them to your fridge, or your forehead if it helps remind you what a warrior you are!
6. Mindfulness for the Mindful: Clear Your Mind
Practicing mindfulness doesn't have to mean sitting still for hours trying to think about nothing (and then thinking about how you’re thinking about nothing). It can be as simple as focusing on your breathing while you sort socks or meditating on why chocolate tastes so good. It’s about finding peace in the present moment, even if that moment includes wondering if you can nap while standing when you have dysautonomia.
7. Daily Little Wins: What’s Your Top Three?
Let’s break down our goals into tiny, daily bites—so small, they’re almost snackable. Try to identify three micro-goals each day, like drinking an extra glass of water or sending a text to a friend. These aren’t just doable; they’re victory bites that lead to big satisfaction.
8. Dare to Dream: Dare to Accomplish Great Things
And just because we’re being realistic doesn’t mean we can’t dream big. Maybe climbing Everest isn’t on the table, but what about learning a new language or writing that letter or card to a long-lost friend? Or even adding a guilt-free rest period regularly? Dream within your means, and every small step toward that dream deserves a celebration dance (or a celebratory nap, your choice).
9. Final and Best Tip: If You Can Only Do One Thing to Ensure Your Best Year Yet
As you venture into a new year, it’s natural to wonder how you can possibly make it the best one yet. The problem comes when you try to figure out the details of how this is supposed to happen. What if you only needed to change one thing to make this happen?
Think about this: in every success, what was the one thing consistently part of the process which made it easier to get there? Likewise, in every failure, where did the greatest difficulties lie?
If we’re honest with ourselves then we realize both answers are the same. It was the people around us who had the most significant impact in these moments. The best success typically has friends, mentors, support groups, and cheerleaders all of which are rooting for you. On the other hand, it’s the naysayers, the critics, the problematic people who hold us back.
With this in mind, ask yourself this: Who do you want to hang out with in the New Year?
It’s really not complicated. When you become intentional in the company you keep, you’ll find your entire world changes. Set up a healthy invisible boundary like a force field around yourself keeping toxic people, disrespectful energy vampires and more drama-mamas at bay. But you may wonder how this one action can be so impactful. Here’s why this one choice matters…
Being with like-minded people means they already have an innate understanding of your goals because they already think the way you do. You’re not wasting a lot of time trying to explain what or why you’re doing to someone who doesn’t understand. Very true in the chronic illness community where isolation and loneliness can rob us of belonging.
Finding community means they get you, and can guide you forward. These are your mentors, the ones who have the experience to guide you on your own path because they have lived similar experiences too. By personally understanding your journey, they also quickly comprehend the challenges you’re facing and know just how to cheer you on without the fake BS or toxic positivity tricks often seen online, like unhelpful comments such as, ‘get well soon.’
The right crowd (or person) can become an accountability partner who is more than happy to help keep you on task because they understand the full importance of what you’re doing.
In the end, this one thing becomes so important then, you need to do what it takes to find them. Seem hard? It isn’t really. Go where they live! This is where you need to become proactive and take the initiative. After all, they’re not going to find you!
Start by checking out online support groups and circles on platforms like Facebook, Inspire, Discord, or Reddit where they’re hanging around virtually connecting. Attend virtual seminars and free lectures from various nonprofits or locate a local support group on EDSAwareness.com.
As we start the New Year, remember, it’s not about racing to check off the to-do list; it’s about embracing the pace that works for you and prioritizing the actions most meaningful to you, your health and wellbeing in whichever way best for you. Embrace your pace. It’s the only one that matters.
Remember, every day might not be good, but there’s something good in every day. Let that saying be your daily guide. Set realistic goals that make sense for us, sprinkle in some laughter, and find the people who are supportive of your dreams and let’s help each other through it all. Cheers to another year and opportunities to connect with new people!
Thank you to EDS S.H.A.R.E. for building a collaborative community space for us all to grow together.
Share your resolve. What quirky or heartwarming resolutions have you set this year? Share them in the comments below—we could all use a little inspiration and a good chuckle!
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